THE  IDIOT

Now that he is gone

Let us say only this of him –

He was a jolly good fellow

But a simpleton.

A yokel not altogether ugly

Nor handsome nor frolicsome

Yet a source of great fun.

Neither hulky nor bulky

But a peptic crank

Among eupeptic friends.

Constitutionally weak

Incapable of any show of strength

The length and girth of his person showed

He had no personality.

Impress he could hardly

For his dress

Out of fashion always

And antedated at least by a generation

Was spectacularly drab.

When others confabbed

And in brilliant catechisms

Brilliant arguments advanced

With his low I.Q. he did pretend

He was no less brilliant.

But fortunately he mostly kept mum

Or if ever he cracked

A sample of his wisdom

It was ignored in friendly indulgence

For his friends were kind to him

And men of high intelligence quotient.

That he was not quite sane

Was taken by all for granted

For always he did the most erroneous things,

Things not approved by majority wisdom.

Not portly in his bearing

And lacking in art

Not a modern knight-at-arms

He failed to win a courtesan heart

And when the chance came

That chance of a lifetime

To bid for his worth

He couldn’t bargain.

An eminent drudge

Others bluffed their way he trudged.

This goat got caught

While others escaped.

In the race

Always tripped by friends

He was the last.

Nor he had any patron to back

For over backwards he never bent.

A dodo so dull

Unable to fly or shift his position

He was a sitting target.

Those on the left

Thought

He was on the right

And the right thought him on the left.

He didn’t know this simple truth

To be neither here nor there

Was to be in no-man’s land.

In chaotic crossfires

Others could  duck

But out his neck he stuck

In changeful weathers

He couldn’t be a weathercock.

This crazy fool so idiotically brave

Long deserved a grave

And in our favour it must be said

This we never demurred.

He was loved by God

So he fondly thought

But he didn’t die young.

We shall miss a lot of fun

But he will be missed by none

For in this world of intelligence abundant

He was redundant.

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